I never knew

When Brandon and I first got married we only argued about one thing, who was doing the most around the house. Three years later after we welcomed little Caroline the chore list became longer, and our disagreements on who should be doing them bigger. But after 9+ years of marriage we have settled into our roles. We have learned to appreciate what the other does, but always just stuck to our own territory.

I'm married to an engineer, so you know we have spreadsheets for everything. None of our children were conceived before every possibility of what this could mean for our family was plugged into Excel. One of these spreadsheets is for the things we need to do around the house. It's color coded and helpful, but I hate the darn thing. I've seen the list so long I was scared. The minute I see things finally coming off the list it seems to grow instantaneously, and it's never been empty. For years Brandon has plugged away at the list trying to knock out what he could in his spare time. I helped out when I could but my job has mainly always been more for the day to day projects like caring for the kids, cooking dinner, and cleaning.

When I started to stay home my home responsibilities increased as expected. I reconcile accounts and pay the bills. I argue with Time Warner about why our cable rates went up again. I run the errands and take everyone to their doctors appointments. I've put more miles on my car driving within a 2 mile radius of our home than I ever did in my 30 minute commute to work each day. But I have my dream job, stay-at-home mom and the extra work is all worth it.

When Brandon started school I knew I would need to take on more responsibilities in order to keep the house running on the same level. This includes repairs around the house and the yard work. I've seen Brandon do yard work. I would take him a glass of water when he looked worn out and I walked back into my air conditioned house with a smile on my face thinking about what a great wife I was for thinking of him during "his" chores. We even bought a new lawn mower before school started so I wouldn't have to push the old one that didn't have self propel abilities.

Oh my gosh! After doing this for the last few months I can not believe I never saw all the things that Brandon did without complaint! I mow the grass, spray the weeds, trim the trees and bushes, splice wires on the extension cord from trimming said bushes. I fix drawers, clean air vents, and move things up and down from the attic (with no pull down ladder). And I know that I am not even scratching the surface. It all hit me this week. I have spend days preparing for fall. I tore out the old garden and planted the new, killed all the weeds, thatched the entire yard, mowed and trimmed back anything overgrown. My hands are cut and covered in blisters. My body aches and I'm not even done.

When our lives get back to normal I know that I won't. I will no longer sit back and watch my husband bust his butt on all the "manly" chores that have to be done around the house. I know what needs to be done thanks to my love/hate relationship with our chore spreadsheet. I always thought these were things that I couldn't do and the things that Brandon enjoyed to do. Wrong! I'm sure it will be much more enjoyable to do them together anyway. Now, if I can only teach him how to iron.......